


How the SMH made Bitty write his thesis

by Tuvieja



Series: How Bitty wrote his thesis [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen, The Haus (Check Please!), They have a plan, bitty avoiding his thesis, concerned team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-16 07:28:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21504118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tuvieja/pseuds/Tuvieja
Summary: Bitty hasn't written anything and it's already Spring Semester. His team is worried for him so they device a plan to help him avoid distractions and just do it.It may be harder than they anticipated
Relationships: Derek "Nursey" Nurse/William "Dex" Poindexter, Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann
Series: How Bitty wrote his thesis [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550587
Comments: 9
Kudos: 117





	How the SMH made Bitty write his thesis

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by two key factors:  
> 1-I should be writing my own final paper right now  
> 2-I love Nursey/Dex and want more domestic content

It was the beginning of the spring semester and  _ somehow _ Bitty had managed to not turn in any of his thesis, at all. Not even a draft. And his teammates were worried.

As any hockey player will tell you, when a teammate isn’t playing well, the rest of the team picks up the slack. The only issue here is… they actually can’t write the thesis for him. First, because they knew absolutely nothing of historical pies, and wikipedia didn’t help enough for a thesis (they tried) and second because it was kind of illegal (although that one didn’t matter all that much)

Thus the Beat-Bitty’s- _ B _ rocrastination-Bureau was born (none of them could come up with a synonym for procrastination that starts with B). First step would be the hardest for the whole Haus, but they were willing to sacrifice themselves so their captain could have a future (Chowder cried while repeating this to the waffles). They’d have to stop him from baking himself into ruin.

Morning of day one they got to work. The plan was to wake up early and put everything in motion before Bitty could even realized what was happening but they had underestimated just how bad he was taking the deadlines.

By the time the frogs made it to the kitchen in the morning their captain was already pulling out a fresh pie from the over and Nursey could see two others ready to go in waiting on the counter.

As Chowder distracted Bitty, Nursey slipped his arm around Dex’ waist and pulled him back into the hallway.

-I think this is going to take extreme measures…

The redhead frowned at him, his right hand holding his toolbox.-I thought  _ these _ were the extreme measures.

They retreated and went upstairs to call in reinforcements.

When everyone made it to the Haus they prepared the ambush. They let him finish the pie he was already baking as Nursey emailed all the kitchens on campus and the nearby frat houses (Whiskey was even kind enough to provide the lax team’s email. Who knew to what extremes Bitty could sink down to). Chowder’s poster was clear and to the point although the sharks confused a few of the less in-the-know bakers.

The moment Bitty’s last pie was cooling on the rack they acted.

Chowder offered to go first because,-I love Bitty too much, and this is going to hurt him but be good to him, but if he’s going to hurt somebody it should be me.

Dex doubted very much that Bitty would hurt anybody but he wasn’t about to step in. Then he saw how Bitty stepped on Luka’s head and almost punched Bully in the face and was glad to be the one in charge of the oven instead of the man.

Nursey looked from a safe distance, he knew how intense things could get and someone needed to explain everything to Tango, again.

Bitty wasn’t making it easy for anybody, he struggled like a crazed monkey, Chowder had to put all his goalie endurance to use while holding onto him and even then he needed Bully and Lukas to help him. He didn’t let down until Dex announced he was done and the oven had been fully incapacitated.

Phase one of the plan had been a success, even though their captain accused them of war crimes and oven-murder.

The sudden lack of baked good on the Haus was sorely felt but they all took it for the good of their captain.

***

Phase two would be easier, in theory. They just needed to make Bitty sit down and write

Dex and Nursey were cuddling on the couch, watching a movie on TV that neither of them was paying attention to, when they heard the front door opening. 

Bitty came in, his bag heavy with books from the library and not baking product, hopefully. When he spotted them his face lit up and he made a beeline for the couch. -What are y’all watching?

When Bitty doesn’t bother to comment on the couch you know it’s bad.

Nursey is about to answer when Dex turns off the tv and gets up. -Actually, we were just about to go to bed

-We were?

He pinched him discreetly while still smiling at Bitty.

-I mean.. we were! Sorry Bitty, I guess you are gonna have to work on your thesis now.

Bitty’s face fell and he couldn’t help but feel guilty.-Or, like, we could work together, I have a ton of late assignments I should be doing anyway

At that moment Bitty got a text and was immediately distracted, judging by the sudden smile on his face, it was from Jack. He wasn’t going to do any writing, that wasn’t a text, anytime soon.

Dex turned at him, one brow raised,-Do you have something to do or was that just for Bitty?

-Well… 

-I don’t think I want to know.-Dex grabbed his hand and dragged him to their room.

***

-Hey Chowder! I thought we could watch today’s Shark’s game together.

His face lit up before falling at the same speed.-Uuuh, how about we get together for a study session instead?

-Ugh, not you too. I trusted you!

-I’m sorry Bitty! But we just want you to graduate!

-It’s fine, I have everything under control. Plus, I still have time… 

Chowder looked at him with a worried expression,-Bitty… you turned in a pie instead of your latest draft the other day.

He looked equal parts offended and ashamed-And how do  _ you _ know about that?

-You told me while you were stress baking at three am.

That sounded like something he would do. Since he had no retort to that one he simply huffed at the goalie and pulled out his phone.

***

Phase two wasn’t working like they hoped it would so it was time for phase three, the last one until the Emergency Card.

They sent in Tango, because he was innocent and didn’t know what was happening half the time so bitty would answer his questions most of the time. They also had Chowder on standby in case things got out of hand and they needed a de-escalator that could also physically restrain 

-Hey Bitty.

He looked up from where he had been scrolling twitter on his laptop (he had deleted it from his phone in an attempt at productivity that had proved… unproductive). Tango was standing on the doorway of his room looking awkward.

-Yes Tango? Did you need something?

He was already getting up. If he needed to go somewhere o do something then it was Bitty’s duty as captain to help him, his own responsibilities came second, this was his taking things seriously, not avoiding anything.

-It was… About your thesis

And now he was mad. Tango took an instinctive step back.

-What about it?

-Nothing! Just… I wanted to know what it was about?

It was more question than statement but that was enough for Bitty to give a quick summary of his thesis statement to Tango, who understood maybe one every three words. So he asked about what he didn’t get and that led to more questions and so on and so forth.

When Bitty had started explaining his thesis the rest of the team had quietly retreated to the lower floor so they could celebrate without risking being heard. Exchanging high fives and congratulating each other on the fact that they hadn’t needed to employ the Emergency Card.

So well it worked, in fact, that they didn’t see Tango come out of Bitty’s room in a full hour. After two and a half hours they started to worry.

It was agreed that they needed to check that their teammates hadn’t suddenly died of a mysterious thesis-related illness, so Chowder went up with the excuse that his room was also up stairs (-It’s not an excuse! I live there-)

Chowder made it up, with the rest of the players not far behind on the stairs. Bitty’s door was still wide open, since Tango had never closed it, so they could clearly see the two men bent over Bitty’s laptop, totally engrossed on what they were seeing on the screen.

As supportive as the team was of their friend and captain… his thesis was  _ not _ that interesting.

When they heard Bitty squeal and Tango coo they guessed that they were not, in fact, working on Bitty’s thesis.

Chowder, now full of righteous fury barged into the room.-What are you doing?

Bitty screamed and tried to close his laptop, like a teenager caught looking at porn. While Tango looked surprised and ashamed.

-Oh, right. I was supposed to talk to you about your thesis.-He turned to Bitty like he pretended to pick up right where they left.

-Exactly,-Chowder gestured to where Bitty was clutching his laptop to his chest,-what were you doing then?

-Uh,-he looked at Bitty,-watching videos of baby otters?

For a moment he was distracted by the cuteness that was baby otters but then Dex swopped in. -Okay, that’s it.

Bitty looked at him, spotting Nursey peeking from the door frame-Is anybody else hiding outside my room?

At a word from Dex everyone else walked into the room, which was a feat on itself since hockey players are not small and the room, while big, wasn’t made to accommodate that much muscle.

-I’m sorry Bitty.- said Nursey, and he actually looked the part.-we tried to help you the best we could but this clearly surpases our abilities. It’s time to call in the cavalry.

Bitty gasped,-You wouldn’t dare…

Nursey gestured to Dex.-Just remember that you made us do this.

Dex had his phone to his ear.-Hello Jack, I’m afraid it’s an emergency

Bitty buried his head on his pillow and tried not to hate his entire team.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos appreciated!


End file.
